Why is that you feel that you simply have to either be perfect, or nothing at all? why doesn't your mind and intelligence simply accept the fact that no one ever becomes perfect overnight, that even through endless hard work, no one can ever be hundred percent perfect. because "perfect" is an ideal state. it's arbitrary. it poses these various ambiguous questions as to exactly how perfect is perfect? at what point exactly will one accept, or even realize that one has at least made some effort in reaching out to that ideal perfection.
How exactly is it that you are supposed to initiate your walk? if you knew precisely, or at least vaguely in what direction you are to make your first step, then you could find the rest of the way. It's scary, walking a maze with no map in hand.you simply do not want to get lost. but if you let your fears command your thoughts, then you will never find your home. you will never know the taste of the present because you will always be dreaming of a future you know you will never know. 
it's almost fascinating, how one tends to tie up logic to logic, creating Aristotelian philosophy when one starts contemplating, yet never figuring out how to apply it to real life............. Life is too complicated. frustration innate.

Why is it that when you open up your journal, you simply pour out your heart and soul onto paper,never pausing to think, never quite able guide your pen to match up the speed of thoughts, BUT..........(irritating. NEVERTHELESS, the BUTs and the HOWEVERs always always always follow the affirmatives of life.) Anyway,when you stair at the blank computer screen, your mind is completely void. you can't even say that I have so much that I want to say but i don't know how to express it. you simply don't. period. don't have anything to say, that is. You feel so worthless. as if you yourself is nonexistent. that, i tell you, is bad. especially if your secret dream is to become a writer. So what is one supposed to  do? Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! if we could actually "be" instead of thinking about "being", how easy would it be? Well, I suppose that is what life is all about. bridging that gap between the state of aspiring and achieving...................